The Week in Review, and my first run in a long time...

Time flies when you're having fun, right?

This week, my goal was to get all my workouts in.  In order to do that, I needed to go to bed on time and wake up early.  Now, my weekly schedule is pretty much based on when my husband is NOT home, haha.  There were a couple of things this week that derailed my plans, though I still think of it as as successful.

• Monday the husband was home so I definitely did not get anything done in the morning.
• Tuesday morning I got in my workout on Trainerize.  Tuesday night, we went to bed late.  My children did not sleep well so we were up and down.
• One of my children was sick on Wednesday.  My husband stayed home with her.  Thus, he wasn't gone in the morning, so I didn't work out (I moved the workout on my calendar to Thursday).  So, I slept until it was time to get the kids up.  I had Irish dance class on Wednesday night, though, so I was active and moving.  
• While I was at work Wednesday, a Christmas tree was purchased and placed in my normal workout spot... 😐   
• The same child was sick the second day on Thursday, and I stayed home with her.  I slept until it was time to get the kids up.  I did, however, work out in the afternoon while she was watching, and, feeling better, she joined in for the 2nd and 3rd sets.  I did not get in my 10,000 steps.  It's really hard to do when I'm home.
• Today, Friday, I thought about getting up before the kids, but again stayed up too late last night (I'm talking about 10-10:30, here).  I skipped my workout in Trainerize.  😕  
• BUT, I did make a plan to go running today and start my Couch to 5K app program--AND I DID IT!  Hubs got home a little later than expected, but it was still nice out, so was ready to go when he got home.  I used both my app and my Garmin Vivofit HR+ to track my run.  The app glitched the first part, so the Garmin is more accurate, but the graphic I have is from the app:

Despite not reaching my "goals" this week, I think I really did have a good week.  I tried to get 10,000 steps every day I was at work, and tonight with the run, I ended up with 16,000 steps, which completely makes up for me not getting my steps in while home with my child yesterday.

I've decided that I will use bus duty at the end of the day to rack up more steps.  And then, if I still don't have 10,000 steps before I leave the school building, then I walk a couple laps around the hallways until I reach that goal.

Something I stumbled upon this week was a group of teachers who run on Wednesdays after school.  They are also Couch to 5Kers.  I'm going to plan on running with them on Wednesday afternoons after bus duty.

So, overall good week!  I feel like I really got moving!

Losses and Wins

For the month of November, I have been working on creating a habit of intermittent fasting.  I had heard about this practice before, but didn't know much about it until ClassFit.  It's no secret that I need to eat better, but the challenge this month is to just establish the habit, not to worry about what I'm eating.  So, I am to choose an 8-10 hour window in which I eat all my food.  The only items I can consume outside that window are water, green tea, and black coffee (which I am not a fan of).

Since my planning period at school is first thing in the morning, I decided to start my window at 10 a.m., which would put me closing the window at 6 p.m., with a little wiggle room for later dinner.  Usually by 9 a.m. I am ravenous and eating junk that I can find in the teacher's lounge, but this month, I am planning what snacks I will break my fast with, and really trying to choose better overall.  Weekends are challenging, but I have been making it work...until this last weekend.

On Sunday morning, I woke up insanely early and piled the kids in the car to drive to Atlanta for an Irish dance competition in which my oldest two children were competing.  By 4:15 CST, I was in the van with four sleeping children, headed up I-85.  It was my job to stay awake and get us there safely before competition began at 8 a.m. EST.  Unfortunately, waiting six hours to eat was not ideal because in order to drive in the dark, I need to keep my mouth busy, and would definitely be hungry after 1 p.m. (when my window would close, even with wiggle room).  So, I blew my fasting that day in order to survive the drive.

On Monday night, the kids wanted to watch Harry Potter 3, so after the baby was in bed we put the movie on, and then the kids wanted popcorn, so I popped enough for everyone, and then before I knew it I was halfway through a bowl of popcorn when I realized that I was waaaaay outside my window.  Drat.

On Tuesday morning, we dropped the little girls at daycare so that we could do some pre-holiday cleaning without their "help" and the big kids wanted to stop at Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast.  Of course I said yes.

My history with Dunkin' Donuts is long and sad.  Through no fault of my own I had to start driving the "long way" to take the girls to daycare in the morning before heading to work, and that took me right by Dunkin'.  What was once a "sometimes" habit of going out of my way and grabbing a medium French Vanilla iced coffee with cream only (and two glazed Munchkins for the toddler...pretty sure they knew me as the "two glazed munchkin lady" since sometime the guy would put three or four in there) turned a couple years later, when the bridge near my house closed, into a full-fledged daily routine, assisted by the app on my phone and the military discount that I found out they offered.  Oh, and the coffee became a size large.  One of my former students worked there, and she recognized my voice through the speaker, so she would hook me up with the military discount before I even got to the window.  And then her counterparts learned me and my order.  In fact, one time the drive-thru line was so long that I went in to order.  One of the ladies from the back came up to help fill drinks, she took one look at the cup and the sticker on it and looked up, searching for me, and said, "You came inside today!"  Yeah.  Sad.

I did have a break from Dunkin' after I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in December of 2016 (baby was born in March 2017) until I started school again in August 2017; they probably wondered where I went, but they didn't miss a beat when I returned.  My husband was deployed that school year, so I was in total survival mode.  Total morning flavor addiction, and I would bring one to a co-worker as well.  I stopped getting donuts and started getting their Wake-Up Wraps.  I figured it was at least better for me to have protein than sugar?

This school year started with one a day as well.  My students noticed.  My plastics recycling bin was full of Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee cups.  I had a real problem.

When I started ClassFit and intermittent fasting, I quit DD cold turkey.  I wasn't going to eat anything until 10 a.m., so I didn't need to stop and would actually be saving money by not stopping.  I was doing well.

Then the kids wanted to go on Tuesday when we were off school.  Early in the morning.  After I had blown my fasting for two days already.  Do you know that the conversation that I had with myself was basically, "Well, if you're going, you have to get something."  And, "I mean, you've blown fasting for two days; what's another day?"

I was in line, and I realized that they had hot green tea (and it was so nice to see "0" under the calorie column...I decided not to look at what my regular coffee was) and I decided right then and there that I could, in fact, maintain my fast.  That I could do it!  That I didn't have to buy something just because I was there and it all looked and smelled so fabulous but was, in reality, terrible for me.  I persisted.  I won.

The kids were really perplexed that I wasn't getting a donut or a wrap, and that I got tea instead of coffee, but it didn't matter what their expectations were.  I can make adult choices for myself and I'm allowed to change what they think they know about me.  I don't have to get those things just because I have set them up to expect me to get those things.  It's the mental game.  Boom.

Taking baby steps, giving myself grace, and rewriting the mental story I tell myself--those are going to be the keys to this lifestyle transformation where Erin Gets Moving.

Side note:  When I started with ClassFit on November 5, I weight 183 pounds.  (Yeah...probably more than my husband.)  I have lost five pounds in two-ish weeks from intermittent fasting, exercise, and dropping DD and sodas from my daily diet.  I went up to the school yesterday to use the same digital scale (for consistency) and it read 178.  My ideal, I think, would be 138.  Still a long way to go, but how great to see progress!

Weekly Check-In -- November 18

1. Why ClassFit?

I was sick and tired of being out of shape and being asked if I was pregnant, and I had started looking into things like BeachBody workouts (Figure8 to be exact), Keto diets, Zumba classes, Flat Belly diets, etc.  With the way the Internet ad targets, many of those things just came up in my newsfeed.  When the ClassFit ad popped up, I decided to delve a little deeper when I realized it was for teachers.  In all of the ClassFit information that I was able to read after the Facebook ad popped up, the word sustainable just stood out to me.  I love the idea of community and accountability, but I really loved the aspect of someone (a real person) to walk along side me and tell me what I needed to do.  I have decision fatigue in the other areas of my parenting and work life, that I couldn't make a decision about what I needed to be doing to get in shape and feel better aside from getting help.  I needed a lifestyle change and I needed other people to talk to about it, to get encouragement about it.

2. Describe the person you need to be every single day in order to live your best life. What are her habits? What is her attitude like? How does she view life? How is her confidence?

To live my best life, I need to be the person who makes time for myself and not excuses (as I keep hearing, we all have the same 24 hours in the day..).  I need to love myself enough to make better food choices on the whole, better choices with exercise and fitness, better choices for quality time with family, better choices about what I own and what I need to purge.  In my best life, I'm not frazzled because I make these choices daily.  I eat well, I exercise (get moving somehow), I keep material stuff at bay, I spend time with my children and enjoy it.

3. Describe the steps required to get from where you are right now to the version of yourself which you just described. What is keeping you from taking those steps?

It's a mentality game.  I have to keep the positive mental talk going to keep me on track.  Again, I have the same amount of time as everyone else, and I get to choose what I do with my time.  I just need to keep reminding myself that I am in control.

4. Do you believe in yourself? Explain.

I do!  I go through small periods of self-doubt in very specific situations, but for the most part I am very confident and believe in myself.  I'm an optimist usually.  I'm resilient, and most things just are just a bump in the road.

On my love of free food...

Really, for as long as I can remember in my adult life, I have had a love of free food.  It probably stemmed from my life as a college student.  In fact, it was one such college student free food event (Resident Advisor Information Meeting) where I "met" my husband when my mouth was stuffed full of whatever the day's delectables were at the refreshment table.  He said, "I'm sorry, did I take your napkin?"  And I just shook my head because my mouth was otherwise occupied.  I was mortified and love struck at the same time.  True story.

In the nearly twenty years since that time, I have developed a reputation for being a connoisseur of free food.  From breastfeeding my babies to attending various community events on the promise of hot dogs and pizza, to being known at work at the person that needs to be notified when food is in the teacher's lounge because I always go in there and partake...well, I've saved considerable money.

Somewhere along the way I developed this mentality that because the food was free I was somehow obligated to eat it.

Today I had a revelation.  It occurred to me that I don't have to eat food just because it's free.  What?!?

Earth shattering, I know.

I always wondered how those teachers would wander into the lounge during our socials and just...be social.  How were they able to avoid all the free goodness that was set out on the tables?  My plate would always be full to overflowing.  I could barely carry on a conversation, I was so busy eating (this might be a theme of my life),

I knew that some of those teaches had dietary restrictions (peanut allergies, celiac disease, diabetic), but the others just...didn't eat because they didn't feel obligated to.

This all comes about because we had a teacher breakfast this morning, and I'm practicing intermittent fasting.  This means that I have an 8-10 hour window where I eat all my food, and the other hours I choose not to eat.  It has been an exercise in self-restraint in the mornings, though the evenings aren't hard.  My window opens up during my planning period so that I can have a snack before lunch, and then it closes after supper.  No mindless snacking for me.

Needless to say, 8 o'clock this morning when the food was offered was not in my window.  Thankfully, I had morning duty to keep me away from the lounge.  Someone came to relieve me and let me go get a plate and I respectfully declined.  That was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  And that's when I had that revelation.

I'm not saying I didn't go down to the lounge when my non-fasting window opened, because I did.  But, when I got there, the selection had dwindled, and I was able to only choose what I really wanted from what was left.  There was no overeating just because it was there and free.  Major breakthrough.

 I hope that this is the beginning of some better eating habits for me.  Baby steps.

Exercise: A personal history

I don't talk to my husband about working out, and honestly, I don't even want him to know I'm working out. It's weird, I know.  I just get embarrassed (or something.)

We've always clashed heads in this department (exercising) starting back in college at Baylor when we were dating and we went to the Student Life Center together to work out and he told me to do 100 sit-ups and I told him that I couldn't do 100 sit-ups, and he said, "Just try." And I said, "Just give me a goal I can accomplish."  He was angry (I've always assumed it was with me?), and that is one of the few times in the last 18 years that I have seen him cry.  His were tears of frustration...and yes, a little bit of anger, because I wouldn't try.  And I was frustrated because I don't set outrageous goals and then thrive in the failure of not meeting them--I try to set reasonable goals and if I exceed them, all the better.  I'm a baby-stepper.

That was our first time working out together, and it was our last for several years.

When I lived in Austin, I mainly did kickboxing at a community center with my AmeriCorps buddies, and then my best friend and I audited a yoga class at the local community college. 

My husband and I got married and I moved back to Waco, and I took some continuing education classes at the community college (belly dancing, jazz dance, modern dance).  But mostly I was in the throes of grad school and my first years of teaching, so I kept that to a minimum.

Of my own volition when we moved to Tuscaloosa, I started taking a Jazzercise class (that led to my full-time employment through networking) and was later able to secure a spouse's pass to the recreation center at Bama so that I could use the treadmills and take some of the group fitness (dance) classes.  I took up the sport of running, with the intention of running a marathon, and my husband decided to run with me.  Except he's faster, so he didn't really run with me.  He ran ahead of me (which was fine), and I ran my own pace with a running buddy that was his law school friend. (That's when I started this blog, actually.  I ran two marathons and two half marathons and lots of little races.)  I also started getting involved in community theater summer musicals, and sang and danced in the chorus for two summers.  It was a workout for the brain and the body.

When we moved to Auburn area after law school, I started taking Jazzercise class here, too.  That didn't last as long as I wanted, though, because I found out I was pregnant, and I was ready to crash by 5 each night.  I was driving 45 minutes each way to and from work, and by the time I got home (especially after the time change and it was dark outside) I would fall asleep on the couch.  After the baby was born, we would try to run the 5k races in the park every Tuesday night in the summer.  Even after baby number two was born 15 months later, I would try to run/walk those races in the summers pushing a stroller.

When I got tired of people who kept asking me if I was pregnant/when the baby was due, etc., a co-worker and I started working out after school.  We both had just had a baby, and we also both knew that once we left the school building, nothing was going to get done. It was in those 45 minutes or never.  That was a great year, but progress was derailed by summer.

We tried again in subsequent years, but our after-school duties took up our time.  Three years ago, my husband deployed for the first time, and after Christmas I joined Planet Fitness.  I kept that membership until he got back for a few months, but then life was too crazy to go.  In the year following his return, we actually did work out together a bit.  (It was torture for me, but he had spent the year working out, and I needed to find a way to bond with him when he got back, so we worked out.  Until school started again and life got crazy...again.)

Then, twelve months after his return from the first deployment, he left for the second.  And it all hit the fan.  Four kids.  Working full time.  I was drowning.  We ate a lot of fast food.  I did NOT find any time for myself.  My neighbor asked me to walk/run with her, but I couldn't because there was no one to watch the kids in the house.  We were on the go all the time.  I dreaded weekends, unscheduled time.

Thank goodness we are on the other side of that now.  I started taking Irish dance class in July and have been doing that ever since.

Two weeks ago I signed on to work virtually (over the interwebs) with a real personal trainer through a program called ClassFit.  It's all about the baby steps.  It's about lifestyle.  It's about sustainability.  I'm really hoping that I can get over myself and let this program help me in the ways that I need to help myself be healthy.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll get to the point where I can talk to my husband about working out and we can figure out how to be a fit family...together.

Mental Game

Today I caught myself playing the mental game when it came to working out, and I realized just how easy it is for me to make excuses.

It was after church, and my husband left with two of the children to head to Atlanta for the MLS Playoff game that includes our team, Atlanta United.  The other two children were newly taking naps upstairs.

I started the dishwasher and sat down on the couch, and this is what was happening in my head:

I should probably work out today since everyone is going to be home tomorrow and I likely won't find the time.  But, I really want a nap.  I can nap.  Sure, if I nap, I'll have more energy to work out after.  Yeah, a nap.  Wait, what time is it?  Two o'clock already?  If I lay on the couch for a nap, I'll probably sleep for two hours, unless the baby wakes me up.  But if I nap, then will I work out when she's awake?  She'll want to sit on me and she'll get in my way.  And if I sleep for two hours, it will be four o'clock, and the heathens will want to eat, gah, they are always hungry, and then we'll have to get ready to go to small group.  Dang it.  I can either nap or I can work out.  I don't have time to do both.  Man, this couch sure is comfy.  I could just pull the afghan over me and nod off into la-la land, no problemo.  Ughhhh.  Fine.  I'll work out.  Gah.

And then I did work out, and just as I was finishing the last part of the stretching workout, I heard the baby cry upstairs.  It was perfectly timed.  I ignored her for fifteen more minutes, though, while I completed the abs/glutes part of Denise Austin's Shrink Your Fat Zones Pilates that I own on Amazon Video.  (Hey, a girl's gotta' do what a girl's gotta' do!)

I remember a time when I could sit up and roll back down using ab muscles, just like Denise does.  That...was a long time ago evidently.  I'm not sure where these types of workout fit in with ClassFit (which seems to be major muscles group/core training), but I added this to the end because I could.  And I feel it now...

But if feels good.  I usually lose the mental game, and that is why I'm heavier than I've ever been in a non-pregnant state.  I'm going to try to win the mental game this time! 

Weekly Check-In 11/11/2018

Weekly Check-In for ClassFit  (Written Saturday night)

1. How many workouts did you complete this week? 

With our handy-dandy workout tracker, I completed 14 workouts, (so, 4.5 days of workouts, the half day being when the kids woke up (early and hungry) as I was warming up, and I ended up just stretching and not doing the meaty part that day.  I did cardio on three days:  Irish dance class, Irish dance Ceili, and walking tonight (trying to maximize my steps on this dreary weekend day).

2. What are your wins for the week (this can be ClassFit, school, or life related)?

Progress reports are done! Mwahahaha!  That's always the most stressful time at school--when progress report and report card grades are due.  It happens every 4.5 week and I somehow pretend like it snuck up on me.  LOL.  Another win for this week:  I actually got up early...when it was cold and dark outside...and worked out.

3. How is your habit makeover challenge going? 

Intermittent fasting is more challenging that I expected in the morning, but very doable after that.  I'm supposed to eat in an 8-10 hour window, so I've scheduled 10a-6p, but leave a little wiggle room.  I have no trouble stopping eating at 6pm.  The mornings are challenging.  I'm making everyone else breakfast and I get hungry.  By 9 a.m. I'm dying, but it's my planning period at work so I keep myself busy, drink water, and wait until 10 impatiently.  The weekend is harder because there is no planning period, only hungry children who wake up at 6 a.m. regardless.  It took forever to get to 10 a.m. today!

4. What are you learning about yourself?

I'm remembering the physical strength I used to have, and the mental strength that went with it (I ran a couple of marathons 10 years ago..).  I'm not sure where I lost that girl, but I've blamed it on motherhood x 4, work stress, you name it, but I'm determined to find her again.  I'm tired of making excuses.  Today I could not work out early because everyone was awake and needing food and attention early for a weekend.  Tonight, I put the little girls in bed (everyone else is camping) and I did my workout because there is accountability through ClassFit (and I have some monetary "skin" in the game) and I want to hold up my end of the bargain.  But also because I'm already seeing a little progress (and that's a great motivator!).  My size 14 corduroys are a little loose (my "fat pants" from after child number 2, that eventually became everyday wear...).  When I step on the scale, the number is just under 180, so things are going in the right direction.  I know that the habit makeover challenge has contributed to this.  All of it has.  I can do this.

Baby Steps

When my husband and I decided that we were sick and tired of debt (student loan debt, car loan, and credit cards), we found Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University to teach us the baby steps to get our financial act together.  It was the best thing we could have ever done for ourselves and our financial mindset as relative newlyweds.  That was ten years ago, and we are still working through the baby steps, even though our only debt is our mortgage.  It's about living daily for the future to make sure that things are sound down the road.  It's a lifestyle, for sure.

It wasn't easy.  (It isn't easy now, though it is definitely easier now that we've been doing this for a decade.)  But it was worth it because the baby steps were manageable and sustainable, and it was such a rush to feel PROGRESS.  And it's comforting to feel the safety net under us now.

The reason I mention this is that I have another struggle that I have wished I had help with that was as straightforward and systematic.  The past nine years, since my first pregnancy, I have battled my body image, my clothing sizes, my eating habits, my exercising (or not exercising), my energy levels, my motivation.  It has been a roller coaster ride, and after having watched my mother go through the same thing, I suspect this will be my life's journey.

In December of 2016, two days before Christmas, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during my pregnancy with my fourth child.  This rocked my world--I had to make some pretty drastic eating habit changes because it wasn't just me that was counting on me to eat right.  I thought I might have started on a journey to good health, but as soon as the baby was born, I went back to my old ways.  The past year eighteen months or so have been unpleasant with my terrible eating habits and virtually nonexistent exercise habits.  I had hoped that while my husband was deployed for 11 months of that time that I would be able to get control of my life, get it all together, eat right, exercise and have him come home to his fit and fancy wife.  Pretty much the opposite happened.  I was in major survival mode with four kids and working full-time.  And when he got home, somehow I put on ten more pounds.  Not sure if it was from stress or what, but I feel terrible, and when I see pictures of myself, I really don't believe that is me (oh, the round face!). 

The worst part is that in the last 18 months, I have had over 100 different people ask me if I was pregnant, when the baby was due, if I was having a girl or a boy, etc., and it has been mortifying.  Over 100 people.  No lie.  One of them was my big boss (the superintendent).  I don't have an exact tracker, but I always have a countdown since it has been the last time someone asked.  We are at four days right now.  Before that instance this week it had been 10 days, but on the day that reset my counter two separate people asked.

I would be lying if I said this was the first time in my life this has happened, but it is the first time it has happened with so much frequency.  After child number two was born, I got asked that enough times that I got sick of it (starting when he was three weeks old!), and I was able to find a workout buddy at my school and we would work out two or three days a week doing Denise Austen pilates or Biggest Loser workouts on DVD in the girls' weight room.  I lost a ton of weight (though my only goal was the midsection) and kept it off during the school year.  The summer (having the kids around and not having a schedule) wreaked havoc on me, and when school started again my workout partner was doing bus duty and I had been harangued into being the cheerleading sponsor, so neither of us had time to work out after school.  Oh, and the weight room had been turned into an office.  It has been an office ever since, and we haven't been able to worked out but once or twice in the interim.

When my husband was deployed the first time, my mom came to live with us and help me care for our (then) three children, and I got a membership to a gym across the way while Mom watched the kids or put them to bed or whatever.  I was able to go and do cardio, but honestly had no idea what I was doing with machines, etc.  The place was so new that I couldn't sign up for the "classes" they offered to help patrons plan what they needed to do.  When husband returned, we would go together whenever we could get Mom to come over, but there was no pattern to her availability. 

So, here we are.  I think (I THINK) I'm finally to the point where I know something needs to happen or I am going to descend into a terrible pattern of self-hatred.  I can't find my running shoes that I purchased three years ago and haven't really run in (I wore them on casual Fridays), but they had holes in them, so I was online shopping for running shoes the other day (because darn it, once they fix the bridge near my house, I want to RUN again!), and my oldest says to me, looking over my shoulder on the computer, "It's not like you're a runner."

I was...disgusted.  At her, at myself.  The original title of this blog was "Erin is a Runner"...until I wasn't anymore (that started with the pregnancy of said child).  I tried to run 5ks in the park on summer nights when there were only two of them (she wouldn't remember this), but I didn't have moral or parenting support, and I didn't have motivation without a running buddy, which I had had before we moved.  So, that dwindled by the wayside.  Most of ten years I have not been a runner.  Ten.  Years. 

That is a devastating number for me.

So, here we go...

1.  I am going to order running shoes and insoles and running socks. 
2.  I am going to Target and getting some more workout clothes that fit this current body of mine (my shorts from when I ran marathons ten years ago were size small...pretty sure I would need an XL right now).
3.  I am going to get moving.  10,000 steps a day is my starting goal, and I have been able to do it on weekdays, but weekends kick my butt.  Family fitness will need to be a part of that.
4.  I have found an online community for support in the exercising and eating realms.  It includes teachers like me who understand the stresses of my daily job; some of them are mothers, too.  All of us know that something has to change.

Let's do it.

Irish Dancing

My older kids have been taking Irish dancing lessons since they were 4 and 5 (they are currently 8 and 9).  Parents were discouraged from coming to class because the kids would misbehave.  So, I would send the kids into the studio and sit outside or drive home and pick them up an hour later.

Just to be clear.  We are not Irish. I mean, I have an Irish name, and I probably have some Irish blood in there somewhere (my maternal grandmother?), but that has never been a part of my identity--I identify as Italian-American, like my mother, if anything, and before I got married, I would admit to the German part of me when people asked about my Americanized German last name. 

The reason my kids Irish dance is because the dance studio is .3 miles from our house.  The ease of dropping them off, going home and getting things done and then getting back with a five minute drive is for sure the the main reason.  The second big reason they started was that it was so laid back and they didn't need special shoes or clothes starting out.  (Now, they have to have hard shoes, but can still dance softshoe in their socks, if need be.)

Both of my older children are good.  They don't both love it (only one does), but they both love that they are good at it, if that makes sense.

We went to an Irish dance competition (feis, pronounced "fesh") in May, and they both had phenomenal results and moved up levels in all dances (except one).  What I realized as a result, though, as I watched them perform, was that I had no idea what they were doing.  The only time I had really seen my children dance (now that they've moved up to the hard shoe) was when the Girl Scout troop my daughter is in was working on a dance badge, and they asked her if she would be willing to Irish dance for them, so my older two did.  I had never seen it!  At the feis, I realized I didn't even know what criteria the dances were being judged on, so I couldn't tell if they were doing a good job, and that made me feel crazy.

I decided then and there that when my husband returned from deployment, that I was going to join the adult (beginner) class so that I could learn with them.  In July, I did just that.

Wednesday nights since then I have been attending the adult class and learning the dances that my children are learning, and I am in awe of their memories.  I can barely remember some of the steps from week to week, but I can ask the children to remind me, and they do it gleefully.  It has been such a good experience for me.  There was a two-week period when my husband was on orders in Washington, DC, so I couldn't go on Wednesdays, but made alternate plans to go to the kids' classes with them once a week.  It was really good! 

I just wanted to put this out there, because sometime I get into the "I'm too old to learn new things" mentality (talking about energy levels) and I am really glad that I told myself to hush when it came to this. 

Thursday and Friday mornings my feet and lower legs hurt from the workout, but it has been a ton of fun. 

Weekly Check-In 11/4/18

I am participating in a teacher fitness programm (that I'll tell more about in the future), and every week there is a weekly check-in.  This is my first one.

1. How is your hydration?

I do not drink as much water as I need to.  I'm going to try this week to quench thirst with water instead of sodas or sweet tea.  We'll see how much more I am able to drink.

2. What are you most proud of in the last week?

This last week, I was able to say no to some sweets or to have less of them.  Considering it was Halloween week, I'm feeling pretty good about most of my choices.

3. What is one thing you wish you did daily? Something you *enjoy*?

At this point, the answer is reading, and I mean reading a real book that I have to hold in my hands.  I've been doing much better with it this school year, but I haven't gotten it down to a daily habit.

4. What is the biggest lesson you want to instill in your students? In your children?

Kindness is different from niceness, but it's important to be both.

5. Do you live by this lesson yourself?

I certainly have my moments, but I believe that I do live by this lesson.  I'm fairly certain that I don't come across as a selfish jerk, and I don't feel like one usually (and when I do, I'm sure I'm being hard on myself).

6. What is (are) something(s) you love about yourself?

I love that I'm a resilient person and a flexible problem-solver.  This week on two separate days, we had to split classes because one of my team teachers got sick and had to leave suddenly.  I'm the team leader, so I had to make some quick decisions, execute some contingency plans, and manage the lab students from the university that were coming to teach their lessons those days to (unbeknownst to them) completely new groups of students.  I handled it like a boss.

7. What is a wild dream of yours?

I want to write.  I'm not sure what or when or why, but I feel like I have a story to tell (somewhere in there) and I'm on the verge or a breakthrough.

8. Share a positive reminder you tell yourself when you are struggling.

Galatians 6:9  "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

9. You ready for November's challenge?

Yes.

Getting back on the horse...

Here I am.  November 1, 2018. 

Here's what I know:

1. I'm about seven months shy of my 40th birthday.
2. I'm about 40 pounds heavier than I would like to be.
3. I have tons of excuses and a lifestyle in which self-care takes a back burner.
4. I have had lots of good intentions, but absolutely no good practice, discipline, routine, habit.
5. Basically, I am not good at riding the proverbial horse.  (I'm allergic to actual horses, so maybe there's a connection?)
6. The only way to get better at something is to do it.  So, here I go again.  

I also know that in the last year, I have had (no exaggeration) over 100 people ask me if I'm pregnant, when the baby is due, if I'm having a boy or a girl, or some unsolicited variation therein.  It has now been 7 days since the last person asked, and I had two people on the same day.  Blah.

After my son was born some 8+ years ago, I remember this happening, and when I got fed up, I finally lined up a workout buddy and I worked out a couple of times a week for a school year.  My belt and pants were loose, I could tuck in my shirt and not feel self-conscious about muffin tops.  That was the last time I felt healthy.  Then summer threw off my routine, I got voluntold to be the cheer sponsor (which ate up my after-school workout time), I fell off the horse, and I never could quite get back on.

It's time to saddle up...hopefully for a long ride this time. 

I have some skin in the game as it were, and I really want to make a lifestyle shift.

So, we're here in November, and I have a couple of things that I'm working on:

1. Taking my medication daily.  (Allergy meds and thyroid meds.)  I forget, and when I forget, it creates a perpetual cycle of forgetfulness.  I'm trying harder this time. 
2. Really trying to get 10,000 steps per day on my Garmin.  My challenge will be the weekends, where I'm averaging about 2,500 steps in my sloth.
3. Making better food choices, even if that means not choosing something I usually choose, or choosing the lesser of two evils.  Like today, for instance, we went through Arby's before dance (bad routine), and instead of a snack shake like I normally get, I got a Coke Zero.  Baby steps, baby steps.

I had some small victories today (over 11,000 steps after going to Irish dance class).  Also, I didn't eat as much Halloween candy as I could have.  I call those definite wins.  :D